Room For Moore: A Family's Incredible Adoption Story
Hello July 25th, 2024![](https://timtebowfoundation.org/application/files/cache/thumbnails/ccf34e7838c244b0ef77444ca7a5b658.jpg)
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“You can read the file, and you can read about all of these conditions, the prognosis, the what-ifs, everything. But behind this piece of paper is God's beloved child.”
For Ben and Kirsten Moore, adoption wasn’t a backup plan; adoption was the plan—the way they believed God wanted to grow their family. For the Moores, adoption was a tangible way to answer God’s call to care for the orphans and better understand His heart for us—His adopted children.
Kirsten comes from a long family line of adoption. She has uncles, cousins, and a younger brother who are adopted, and it’s always held a special place in her heart.
She knew God had placed the desire on her heart to adopt one day, too. So, when Ben and Kirsten started dating in 2005, adoption was a non-negotiable. “That was one of the first questions I asked Ben when we were dating. I was just like, ‘How do you feel about adoption?’” Kirsten shared.
“That [trip] had a pretty profound impact on me... Just the fact that there are kids who don't have families that need families. Then meeting Kirsten and seeing that as a part of her family and hearing her heart for it, I think that kind of stoked something that God was already working in me,” Ben explained.
So, when Kirsten brought it up on one of their first dates, the answer from Ben was a resounding yes. They got married in June of 2009 and started to pray and dream about growing their family through adoption. They felt particularly called to adopt from China, as many of Kirsten’s relatives were adopted from there.
However, in China, both adoptive parents are required to be 30 years old. At the time, Ben and Kirsten were in their early twenties, and Kirsten was also on her own medical journey, having struggled with illness for most of her life. “I think in a lot of ways that uniquely prepared us to walk into kids who were going to need a lot of medical care. A lot of times in the middle of that season of life, you go, what is going on? What is God trying to teach us? But in many ways, that prepared us to just walk into a special need and it be a normal thing,” Ben explained.
On Ben’s 30th birthday, they decided to fill out the adoption paperwork and elect that they were open to a child with special needs. “It wasn't a long discussion. It wasn’t a let's pray through whether we should do this. It was, well, of course. God has brought us to this spot. Let’s go,” Ben said.
The Moores’ adoption journey has led them to a deeper place spiritually than they could have ever imagined possible. It has forced them to take major leaps of faith and trust the Lord to provide when the details are uncertain. “God bolsters your faith as you go,” Ben said.
He can still picture Jo in his little jumpsuit and his blue, red, and yellow shoes. Kirsten remembers how tiny he was. “They gave him to me for the first time... He was the size of a little baby. He gave us this little smile, and it was just game over. He was the sweetest, sweetest human being, and he still is,” Kirsten recalled.
“We're very aware that being parents is not a right. It is a gift. And I think that was so clearly evident whenever we met Jo. It was the best. I tell Jo it was one of the best days of my life,” Ben added.
Then, one year later, the Moores felt the nudge to take another leap and add to their family. Next came Evelyn Yi, a precious baby girl from China with a cancerous tumor in her eye. They brought her home in July of 2018 with her future and diagnosis uncertain. “We didn't know what cancer was going to look like for her. All we knew was that she lost an eye and that she had remaining tumors in her other eye,” Ben explained.
They remember being scared about what saying “yes” to this little girl would mean, not knowing what her life would look like or even if she’d survive. Nonetheless, they answered God’s call and brought Evelyn home and into their family fold.
Thankfully, Evelyn is now a cancer-free, bubbly, and loving 8-year-old. "We would have to buy a house with a whole room to keep all the cards and little notes that she writes for us. Evelyn is a treasure,” Ben said.
In June of 2021, the pandemic was in full effect, and Kirsten and Ben’s third adoption process had been halted. Their paperwork was completed but sitting at the Chinese consulate in Washington, DC.
They were at a standstill with no clear way forward. Travel to and from China had been indefinitely stopped, and their chances of adopting anytime soon were looking bleak.
“We were like, okay, what do we do? I do not feel okay about leaving the China program. It feels weird to think about another country for some reason,” Kirsten said.
Kirsten asked God to give them a clear sign and pathway forward. Around the same time, for no particular reason, she couldn’t get the name “Danny” out of her mind.
On June 17th, 2021, Kirsten got the email that would change their life. The email subject line simply read: “Little boy.”
“We were at the table, and I was just like, ‘Ben, I wish God would just make it so obvious, and I wish he would just tell us what to do.’ And in that same breath, I grabbed my phone, and I checked my email and there was an email from our social worker we hadn't seen in probably four, five, or six months,” Kirsten recalled.
The email was about a little boy from Hong Kong named Chung Hei, but he went by “Danny” - a name given to him by the ISS (International Social Service) Hong Kong adoption branch. Kirsten couldn’t believe it.
At that moment, Kirsten and Ben knew this would be their third child. They began the long process of adoption all over again, but this time through Hong Kong.
Kirsten explained that a heart condition was one of the special needs listed on the adoption papers that you could check ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to being open to. Transparently, she admitted they had previously checked no.
“Heart conditions, especially a very significant one... I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can handle that. And God, throughout the whole time, He was just like, ‘Yes, you can. I've got this.’ So, it was just like, here we go! That was the whole theme throughout all of our adoptions,” Kirsten shared.
Regardless of any fear they had, they moved forward with the adoption process of Chung Hei. “You can read the file, and you can read about all of these conditions, the prognosis, the what-ifs, everything. But behind this piece of paper is God's beloved child, and this is why we had no good reason to say no; we just didn't,” Kirsten explained. “God gives you everything you need in that moment... Every day, it's like, here's your daily bread; now go keep going.”
After months of paperwork and long-distance Zoom calls, the day finally came to fly to Hong Kong to meet this precious little boy in person. The Moores chose to also bring their other two children with them overseas to meet their new brother.
The visit went amazingly well. The kids immediately clicked and played seamlessly together.
Finally, the adoption process was over, the paperwork was finalized, and Chung Hei was officially theirs.
The Moores decided to name him Thaddeus – a name with Aramaic and Greek roots that means "courageous heart” - a fitting name for a little boy born with a heart condition.
But Thaddeus is difficult to pronounce for a 5-year-old, and he prefers “Chung Hei”, so the Moores lovingly call him that. On Father’s Day, June 16th, 2023, Ben, Kirsten, and their now three children boarded the long flight from Hong Kong back to their home in San Jose, CA. Almost immediately after getting back on US soil, the doctor appointments began, followed by hard discoveries and diagnoses.
“Not only is he trying to [adapt to] new surroundings, new smells, new home, new bed, new people, language and everything. He's also having to go through some really difficult hospital visits and appointments,” Kirsten shared.
Ben and Kirsten knew Chung Hei had a serious heart condition, but the specifics they were finding out. Chung Hei had 13 heart anomalies.
“I've known how hard he's had to fight already and to know his biggest battle is ahead of him,” Kirsten said, pausing. “It'll just sometimes just kind of hit you...But it's just those waves of almost grief in a way that you go through knowing all that he has ahead still.”
As Ben and Kirsten grappled with what this would mean for their precious little boy, they kept turning to God for strength, knowing He would provide again as he had before.
Chung Hei, being a smart, intuitive little boy, eventually started to ask questions.
“Mommy, is something wrong with my heart?”
These innocent questions were followed by hard, honest conversations. Above all, though, Kirsten and Ben explained to Chung Hei and their other two children that God is faithful, and with Him, there is no need to fear. The Gospel was their sure hope and anchor.
While Ben and Kirsten wrestled with the what-ifs and unknowns in private, normal life for the now-three siblings ensued. Chung Hei, with his zest for life, determined spirit, and warm, cuddly personality, had no room for fear in his busy 5-year-old world.
“You take your eyes off him for a second, he'll be on the roof with something! He just brings this zest and this element of fun,” Kirsten shared, laughing.
“Chung Hei has enough personality for our whole house,” Ben added.
“He is a brave, brave little boy...He is that type of child where he's going to run out there, and he's not going to let anything stop him, and he's just going to keep going,” Kirsten shared.
Looking for support along their adoption journey, the Moores had reached out to TTF’s partner, Show Hope—an amazing organization working to reduce barriers to adoption and provide pre- and post-adoption resources and support for families. Moved by their story, and thanks to our generous TTF Giving Family, we were able to come alongside the beautiful Moore family as they embraced God’s call to be Chung Hei’s family.
“When we found out that the Adoption Aid grant came along, it was really such an encouragement shot in the arm. I mean, one of the things that we've both decided is that we won't let finances be an obstacle,” Ben shared, “It's an affirmation for us. It is an encouragement for us to keep going.”
They shared that the grant was completely unexpected and once again showed God’s providence and presence.
“It was also just this understanding that we're not doing this alone either. There is a group of people we probably won't ever meet, but Chung Hei is under our roof and in our family because of that generosity and that faithfulness in giving,” Kirsten said.
“Each of our kids has had to go through so much, and they've had to have so much courage, and they've had to fight so hard for their life. Why would we not match that, pursue that and walk into that with them and hold their hands through that and carry them through that? It's just like this fire that the Lord put in both of us that would just grow with each [adoption] process,” Kirsten explained.
As a family, they find strength in Joshua verse 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
It's Ben and Kirsten’s hope to instill that kind of confidence in the Lord and courage into their children. “They still have a lot to face. But they won't face it alone,” Kirsten said.
“The point is trusting the Lord, being obedient, and sharing the Gospel with your kids... It is an honor and privilege to be entrusted with our kids,” Ben said.
No matter what lies ahead, Ben and Kirsten know and trust the Lord will take care of them and the children He has given them. Their kids are their greatest blessings and greatest joys. Each adoption has taught them more about the kind of Father God is. They encourage other families to prayerfully consider adoption as a way to grow their family.
“He is the father of the fatherless, defender of widows and orphans. That’s who He is! We are saved because He has a heart for the orphan. So, you can't detach the two... It's been God leading us to these three kids that's grown our faith in what He can do,” Ben said.
The kind of courage Chung Hei has.
Will you join us in praying for the beautiful Moore family and for sweet Chung Hei’s heart?